Your Everyday Life
More than any other holiday, Valentine’s Day can trigger a whirlwind of expectations and emotions. Few people want to be alone on Christmas or New Year’s and there’s nothing wrong with that, but Valentine’s Day has the added dimension of romance and for those who are single, the sudden appearance of heart-shaped everything might spotlight a sense of lack.
Meanwhile for those who are in a relationship, there might be a lot of built up pressure to be the couple at the crowded restaurant with the helium balloons and the prix-fixe dinner menu. This could all be perfectly lovely or, if it’s not your vibe, totally not worth it.
If I’m being honest, the older I get, the more trivial Valentine’s Day seems to me. On the one hand, I am all about public and private displays of affection. I doubt you’re shocked to learn I love the flowers, the candles, the drama, the jewelry and the dinner date (and Baby Love you do it all so well!). I love to celebrate love and life with my husband, and I think the success of our 12-year relationship has a lot to do with the fact that we enjoy romance not once a year, but on a regular basis.
Whether we’re currently single or in a relationship, we all have the opportunity to peel back the layers on Valentine’s Day and determine what celebrating love really looks like for us. If we’re feeling lack or pressure around this day, could it be because we’re not allowing ourselves much romance in our everyday lives?
If you’re with a significant other, there are small ways and big ways you can celebrate that person on a daily basis. Glenn sends me notes and flowers when we’re together or apart, and we make it a priority to take time for our relationship. We’ll often enjoy a night with no phones, no television, no friends and no interruptions. We let go of work and world affairs and allow ourselves to focus on each other.
If you’re not in a relationship right now, I think the same holds true. You can be falling a little bit more in love with yourself on a daily basis. Give yourself permission to spend time nurturing yourself and doing things that are pleasurable. If you know you genuinely desire to be in a relationship, then enjoy the process of becoming the person who will attract the partner you’re looking for.
I wish I had the wisdom to approach my own single years that way. In all those years where I was trying to call in my soul mate, I wasted way too much energy being upset at being alone on Friday night, or dreading holidays like Valentine’s Day. In retrospect, I can see that I wasn’t ready for the life-changing relationship I desired. Had I attracted somebody into my life at that time, I can assure you that I would not still be with him today.
Wherever you’re at on your journey, always keep in mind that you absolutely deserve love, companionship and romance. The preparation for calling in your soulmate is actually a beautiful time—equally beautiful to when you’ll finally be joined with that person. So Valentine’s Day is not a time to focus on lack, but to celebrate the love that is all around you!
As for how to celebrate, that’s up to you. Maybe a luxurious night in with your journal is exactly what you need right now. If so, then light candles, put on music, order dinner from Plated and cherish it! But don’t feel like you have to hide, either. You can always get dressed up and go out with girlfriends, take yourself on a date or treat yourself to a little shopping!
Since I’m blessed to be with my beloved, we’ll have to see what Dr. Glenn A. Sisk comes up with this year. But to give you an idea, if I were single, I’d probably choose to host a glamorous dinner party, because connecting with people over food and wine is one of my favorite ways to celebrate love. What’s yours?