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Were you confident before you became successful, or did your success make you feel more confident? How does one radiate confidence when the things you want aren’t showing up?

Carrie Dale

Dear Carrie,
Great questions! Confidence has been a journey for me. It wasn’t until I started my business that I even realized I was lacking in it. I’m naturally outgoing, so never in my life did I think of myself as insecure. However, as soon as I had to charge money for my services, I found I wasn’t as confident as I thought.



The way that I became more confident was through a spiritual practice. What that means is that I made a conscious effort to change my thought patterns, let go of my ego and focus on my purpose. I stopped asking, “What will everyone think of me?” and instead asked “How can I best serve others?” Allowing myself to be guided by this simple question, I stopped thinking so much about what others thought (which is what caused my insecurity), and instead I concentrated singularly on my purpose.  

A spiritual practice isn’t something you do for a time, until you’re successful, and then stop.  The ego’s worries do not disappear with success; in fact usually the opposite occurs. For example, when I first started speaking on stage, I was too naïve to be self-critical. Inadvertently, my focus was on my message rather than on myself, so I had a certain effortless confidence. But as soon as the audiences became a little larger, my ego chimed in, wondering what everyone would think of me again!

So to this day I practice ignoring my ego and focusing on my purpose. It’s not that I’m confident because I think so highly of myself, I’m confident because I don’t spend time thinking about myself or anyone else’s thoughts. Instead I’m always thinking about how I can give my best and how what I am creating can be of the highest value to the world. That is what has given me clarity, freedom, and strength.

I will say that success has granted me a new kind confidence, not in myself, but in the way life works. I see now that when you bring your best, you will be met with the best. There is no need to be afraid of something not working out.

Were you confident before you became successful, or did your success make you feel more confident? How does one radiate confidence when the things you want aren’t showing up?

Carrie Dale

Dear Carrie,
Great questions! Confidence has been a journey for me. It wasn’t until I started my business that I even realized I was lacking in it. I’m naturally outgoing, so never in my life did I think of myself as insecure. However, as soon as I had to charge money for my services, I found I wasn’t as confident as I thought.

The way that I became more confident was through a spiritual practice. What that means is that I made a conscious effort to change my thought patterns, let go of my ego and focus on my purpose. I stopped asking, “What will everyone think of me?” and instead asked “How can I best serve others?” Allowing myself to be guided by this simple question, I stopped thinking so much about what others thought (which is what caused my insecurity), and instead I concentrated singularly on my purpose.  

A spiritual practice isn’t something you do for a time, until you’re successful, and then stop.  The ego’s worries do not disappear with success; in fact usually the opposite occurs. For example, when I first started speaking on stage, I was too naïve to be self-critical. Inadvertently, my focus was on my message rather than on myself, so I had a certain effortless confidence. But as soon as the audiences became a little larger, my ego chimed in, wondering what everyone would think of me again!

So to this day I practice ignoring my ego and focusing on my purpose. It’s not that I’m confident because I think so highly of myself, I’m confident because I don’t spend time thinking about myself or anyone else’s thoughts. Instead I’m always thinking about how I can give my best and how what I am creating can be of the highest value to the world. That is what has given me clarity, freedom, and strength.

I will say that success has granted me a new kind confidence, not in myself, but in the way life works. I see now that when you bring your best, you will be met with the best. There is no need to be afraid of something not working out.

Access Your Inner Badass with An Empowering Read
you-are-a-badassSometimes we all need a little reminding of how great we are! My favorite way to get a laugh along with a reminder of my fabulousness? Jen Sincero’s You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Jen has a humorous take on personal development that makes this book as fun as it is empowering. I’m a little biased as to the hilariousness of this book, as I had the honor to be part of the project, however I’m confident you’ll love it!
Access Your Inner Badass with An Empowering Read
you-are-a-badassSometimes we all need a little reminding of how great we are! My favorite way to get a laugh along with a reminder of my fabulousness? Jen Sincero’s You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Jen has a humorous take on personal development that makes this book as fun as it is empowering. I’m a little biased as to the hilariousness of this book, as I had the honor to be part of the project, however I’m confident you’ll love it!
Make a List of 10 Confident Women You Admire & Follow Their Lead
iphoneWho’s confident to you? Demi? Donna? JLo? Gaga? Taylor? Tory? Monique? Sophia? Ivanka? Or Queen Rania? I follow these 10 fabulously confident women on Instagram and find myself channeling my inner rockstar, fashion designer, billionaire and queen. Trust me, it works!
Make a List of 10 Confident Women You Admire & Follow Their Lead
iphoneWho’s confident to you? Demi? Donna? JLo? Gaga? Taylor? Tory? Monique? Sophia? Ivanka? Or Queen Rania? I follow these 10 fabulously confident women on Instagram and find myself channeling my inner rockstar, fashion designer, billionaire and queen. Trust me, it works!
Surround Yourself With People Who Do Not Care What Others Think of Them
millions-withinI do believe that most of the time when we lack confidence, it’s because we’re obsessed that someone else’s opinion matters more than our own. My dear friend David Neagle, author of The Millions Within, has been to me a major teacher of many subjects, one of which is definitely confidence. David is always true to himself and stands firmly in the belief that he does not care what others think of him—ever! Whenever I wobble with worry, I think of his solid conviction and take a stand for myself. I’m thrilled to be able to share some of his wisdom with you, as David is providing all Divine Living readers with a free audio lesson on developing unshakable self-confidence. Listen now here.
Surround Yourself With People Who Do Not Care What Others Think of Them
millions-withinI do believe that most of the time when we lack confidence, it’s because we’re obsessed that someone else’s opinion matters more than our own. My dear friend David Neagle, author of The Millions Within, has been to me a major teacher of many subjects, one of which is definitely confidence. David is always true to himself and stands firmly in the belief that he does not care what others think of him—ever! Whenever I wobble with worry, I think of his solid conviction and take a stand for myself. I’m thrilled to be able to share some of his wisdom with you, as David is providing all Divine Living readers with a free audio lesson on developing unshakable self-confidence. Listen now here.
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