How to Show Up for Yourself
Through Every Challenge
How do you continuously show up on behalf of your non-negotiable business goals, even in the face of major challenges—professional and personal?
To start, I think it’s important for women like us to understand that EVERY successful person hits a lot of challenges along the way. And no matter how successful you get, new obstacles will always emerge. So whatever comes up for you on your journey, never take it as a sign that what you desire is not meant for you. Instead, accept it as a natural part of life that only makes it richer.
Dawn, you’ve tapped into a key insight with this question. Making a goal a “non-negotiable” means you show up for it no matter what. Ideally there should be no occurrence and no excuse big enough that you give up. And understandably, it can be tough to commit to something with that level of dedication to begin with. Most people don’t, because they don’t even actually know what they want—and thus everything is negotiable and negotiating is all they really do.
In my life, making something a non-negotiable typically happens in two ways. The first is when it comes directly from my own vision, sense of purpose and drive. I’ve made it a non-negotiable to launch a new program, work with a certain amount of clients, move into a better home or travel somewhere that called to me. These weren’t things I thought I’d maybe like to do or achieve, they were like a burning obsession—something to live for.
Other times in my career, a non-negotiable came about because I unknowingly set myself up for it. For instance, the first time I booked a 350-person hotel ballroom for my first-ever live event (#lord), it was because I had a desire and a vision for it. But had I not signed a contract and put down $10K on my credit card, maybe I wouldn’t have managed to fill it.
Here’s what happened. Two weeks before the event, I confronted the fact that I had only five people registered. I suppose I could have made it okay to cancel, carry on the debt and pay it down over time. $10K was however, a seemingly astronomical sum for me at the time, so that did not feel like an option. Inadvertently, I had left no room here to negotiate. I decided I was going to fill that ballroom, even though I had no idea how!!!
It was time to dig deeper and get creative. So I started to ask the right questions. Instead of focusing on how impossible it seemed, I sought Divine guidance: how CAN I fill this room in two weeks? I started to hear: Lower the price. Reach out to community leaders. Have 10 of them bring 10 people then you’ll have 100 more people in the room right there! I put in the extra hustle and when the day of the event arrived, we SOLD OUT that ballroom and there were 354 people in that live event!! I felt stronger, more capable and more supported than ever before.
That moment confirmed what my mentors had long suggested: when it comes to business, there’s always a solution. To find it though, you have to raise your vibration. It’s like Einstein’s famous quote: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” So you have to make the space to get in tune. Journaling, meditating and working with mentors and mastermind partners who are at a really high-frequency will help raise you up to the realm of solutions. Know that when you open yourself up and you ask for guidance, you always get answers.
When it comes to personal issues, it’s even more essential to get support. We all know that romantic or family heartbreak makes doing business seem almost impossible. The last thing you want to do is isolate or hold it all in. Whenever I hit a personal roadblock, one where it hurts to breathe and consumes me completely, I never make myself think I have to suppress it, or figure it out on my own. I turn to therapists, coaches and healers for support. I even did this in the early years when it seemed I couldn’t afford it, because I knew that above all what I really couldn’t afford was to stay stuck or slip into burnout.
Whatever kind of challenges you face, I want you to know that it is OKAY to struggle sometimes. In those two weeks where I hustled to fill that ballroom, there were many excruciating moments. There were tears, there were sleepless nights and there was a LOT of prayer. I don’t want the entrepreneurial path to sound MISERABLE, but at certain points in your life there’s truth to the phrase “no pain, no gain.”
I know there’s now something of an underground mafia of women making other women wrong for
struggling and pushing through to achieve their goals. In reclaiming our feminine energy, sometimes we go to far and forget that it’s actually about balance. Yes—there are those beautiful times when we’re truly aligned and everything is flowing effortlessly. Stretches when we’re attracting what we desire and ideal clients are arriving seemingly out of nowhere.
Sure, I’ve experienced that kind of grace along the way and you probably have too. There have been other times however, when I’ve had to hustle, work hard, push through and dig deep. It’s not very popular to talk about exercising your masculinity in our community, but I do believe both energies are really needed in business. So do not make yourself wrong for showing a little sweat, because we all must do it to rise to life’s obstacles and entrepreneurial challenges.
As any mother who’s given birth knows all too well, creating something from nothing requires both giving and receiving. It’s not all just effortless flow from start to finish. There’s the feminine aspect of conception, pregnancy and carrying the baby, and then there’s the intense, difficult period of pushing that baby out. It can be one of the most painful moments in a woman’s life, and yet I haven’t heard a single mother tell me that it wasn’t worth it.