mm-hdr

Was Marrying a Wealthy Older Man
the Secret to My Success?

rust-divi

It’s time to address one of the biggest assumptions people make about me: that I’m successful because I married a wealthy man.

Whether it’s through an online comment or in person, every time this question comes up I feel a mix of emotions. On one level, it always makes me smile with pride to know that: no, I did not build my business with anyone else’s money. Going deeper however, I do feel a twinge of sadness that so many of us women still don’t believe that we, or the women around us, can create great wealth without it coming from our fathers, husbands and boyfriends.

real-quote-1The thing is, I get it. I have nothing but compassion for this mentality. I grew up with it. Most of us did! Our mothers and grandmothers came from an entirely different world, and they knew of only so many ways for their daughters to live a beautiful life (AKA raise their financial standing)—the most tried-and-true of which has always been marriage.

I remember going shopping with my mother and hearing her say, “Gina, you have such great taste…you’d better marry a wealthy man.” It was never said, “You’d better become wealthy.” It’s not that she was trying to hold me back. Like all mothers, she just wanted the best for her daughter. She guided me toward getting good grades, going to college and being able to support myself. Of course I wouldn’t be where I am today if she hadn’t always modeled for me how to make life happen! But it just wasn’t the typical mentality to expect that a young woman, the daughter of school teachers, could create a high level of wealth without a man footing the bill.

It’s no one’s fault, but this kind of conditioning runs deep. And all throughout my dating career, I kind of kept an eye out for a wealthy man. (Honestly, I wish I HAD made MORE of my dating choices this way…I would have paid for way fewer dinners for those local loser rock stars! #lord) Though it wasn’t until things became serious with Glenn that I realized marriage was probably not my path to the lifestyle I desired. While he had been an extremely successful chiropractor and entrepreneur, running a number of clinics and a few other businesses as well, he had gone through a challenging divorce and was not coming into our marriage with a big wad of cash or a house on Lake Como.

real-1However it was clear that Glenn was “The One,” so the question became: do I marry my soul mate, or do I keep looking for that wealthy man? I didn’t need to think about it much at all to know that soul mate was the clear winner. Instead, I took a closer look at my hopes for marrying wealthy. And I got really clear on the fact that my big dreams for my life were not going anywhere. So I just said to myself: If I want Glenn and I want that lifestyle, then it’s going to be up to me to create the money.

Today I could not be more happy with my choice and I understand exactly why everything happened the way it did. Failing to find the wealthy man I had imagined for myself and meeting my true soul mate instead literally gave me this life and all its blessings. It forced me to become who I am and discover what I’m capable of creating.

If I had married wealthy, Divine Living (including this magazine) would not exist, and neither would the impact I’ve been able to have in working with thousands of women through my programs, radio show, products and coaching. Because believe me, I know myself and I’d probably be sitting poolside somewhere with a big hat and a drink with an umbrella in it. Though when I said that to our Editor-in-Chief Sam Saboura on the phone the other day, he replied, “Wait…you’re not?”

real-quote-2Okay, so I am… however I also have a life, a purpose, and a career…not just a big hat.

We had a big laugh at that one—because once wealth-by-marriage is crossed off the list, the next thing people assume about me is that I’m a workaholic (Sam knows better). Never have been, never will be. Yes I’m driven, yes I’m excited about life, yes I’m committed to growth. But thankfully, creating my business on my own terms has allowed me to live beyond all these old assumptions about what it takes for a woman to make real money and afford herself the luxury of running her business from a poolside cabana should she so desire.

Playing the assumption game can go on forever—so you have to check yourself. Even today, I’ll sometimes catch myself thinking, “Well the reason this person has a company with 200 employees is because {insert assumption}…” or, “The reason so-and-so is able to find investors for her clothing line is that—fill in the blank.” So many times I’ve heard women say things about me like, “Well she can do it because she doesn’t have kids,” or “She can do that because she’s American,” or “She can make money because she’s selling business programs.”

pop-quote-2When you attribute any kind of success in the world to something external, you give your own power away. To reel it back in, we have to remember that we all have the ability to create what we desire, whether it’s a clothing line or jet set lifestyle or a thriving 200-person company.

With all that’s happening in the world, there could hardly be more indicators that now is the time for women to step into their power. So instead of telling yourself excuses, start asking better questions: How can I travel—even though I have kids? How can I bring in the money I desire—even though I’m in debt? How can I grow my business—even though I only have one VA working 5 hours a week?

All of the above have been done before and are entirely doable for those who dare look beyond the conventional ways of the world. So next time you find yourself making assumptions about someone you look up to, remember that every woman has a story, and that the only one you really need to be thinking about—is yours. What would your story be like if you had a no excuses policy? What would the outcome be if you said yes to one big desire, not one day but TODAY? In my experience, that’s the only kind of story worth living.

Comments

comments

sign-up
Don’t Miss an Issue of Divine Living Magazine

       

Send this to friend