Play a Bigger Game
I’ve been talking to so many amazing women on the phone recently. They’re strong, smart, capable and ambitious. Some of them might be very accomplished at their jobs, others just starting out in their careers. Some are in debt, others sitting on a pile of cash. Their status and security doesn’t seem to make a difference when it comes to the biggest thing that’s holding them back from achieving their dreams: analysis paralysis, or, the bondage of indecision.
I remember what it’s like to be so afraid of making a decision. It’s as if life is a field of land mines and you’re tip-toeing around, careful not to blow one up. Everything is scary and nothing is fun. You put all your time and energy into studying every angle of your every move, scrutinizing every last detail. You wear the choice to “sleep on it” like a badge of honor. You may move sideways and in circles sometimes but year after year, nothing really changes. Because the safest thing is just to avoid making any influential decisions at all.
I’ve been there, and I want to talk about it because I believe this level of discomfort around decision making is keeping way too many incredible women out of the game. We’ll never be able to reach our true potential if we continue being so afraid to invest in ourselves, our businesses and our desires, whether that’s through a commitment of time, money or creativity.
The reality is that being comfortable making decisions is key to being a successful entrepreneur. After all, you have to make them every day when you’re running a business. Fortunately it is possible to overcome your fears and move through life with direction and purpose, and my desire is to help you do just that. Ahead, my top three lessons for getting out of analysis paralysis for good.
Successful people are not only quick to make decisions, they’re slow to change their minds. This is important because when you make a decision, all the forces in the Universe will move to support you in that direction. When you’re wishy-washy, you struggle to be supported. Every time you go back on a decision, that sends a confused message. Now it can be difficult to commit to your decisions when you don’t really know what you want, so keep in mind that getting to know yourself is your personal responsibility. When you’re connected to your purpose, your passion and whatever gets you up in the morning, you can make plenty of wrong decisions and they will still move you forward in the direction of your dreams. So many of us are quick to drop our plans as soon as we find out they won’t be as easy as we thought. Remember that you can always course correct without giving up and continue to show up for what you believe in. So spend less time analyzing and agonizing, more time deciding and doing.
Seriously. I make them every single day as I mistakenly choose not to respond to that email, hire that person, or work with that specialist. At the end of the day, I’ve probably made more good decisions than bad ones but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t let the bad choices weigh me down. Believe me I do understand why it can be so deeply terrifying to do the wrong thing. In childhood there were massive consequences for not getting it right and we’ve learned that we have to be perfect. Thankfully today is not that day because striving for perfection serves no one. If we want to enjoy our lives and have a major impact, we have to get past our childhood wounds and let ourselves make mistakes. I think that’s something successful people just get. A chef is going to burn something every day. A master musician is going to play a wrong note. That’s just the way it is when you’re LIVING, taking risks and going for it. Plus, trying things out and getting them wrong is the only way you’ll get better at making the right decisions for you.
For women like us to become real power players, we have to be confident not only in what we choose to do and who we are, but how we spend our money. We are talking about changing the world here, but so often when it comes to investing in our own advancement or business growth or self-care it’s like, wait, am I worth it? Ladies: YES. You deserve to take up space, be supported and spend money on yourself even if it doesn’t work out as you planned. Here’s what I know: no successful business person ever created their empire because they were holding tight to their money and hunting down every last dime. I’ve worked with mentors who have invested six figures or more on growing their business and sometimes, it didn’t pan out—and that was okay with them. This is what it’s like to play a big game. I’m not saying we should be frivolous with our money, but I am saying there’s no reason to beat yourself up for every loss and “bad investment,” because there will always be more money and more opportunities to make the right investments.