How to Transform Two of the Biggest Stories
in Your Life
The story I knew was all about struggle. Through my early life experiences, I learned to believe I had to work really hard and sacrifice a lot to make money. And perhaps the only thing worse than being in a chronic financial struggle is when at the same time, you can’t land a date to save your life!
Yes…thus was the picture of my twenties and early thirties. Even if on the surface my life looked fine (I had the degrees, the meaningful career and a roof over my head), I was constantly hustling to scrape by with just enough. In life you get what you believe. My deep-seated beliefs about men and money not being there for me made it so that both my bank account and my love life were unreliable, and I was always wearing myself out trying to fill up both.
Working as a coach and psychotherapist, I started to find that all kinds of different stories around men and money tended to follow parallel narratives in women’s lives. So if a woman believed that men were impossible or bullies, she’d likely have an impossible relationship with money and feel bullied by it as well. Or if a woman thought men were not there for her, she also might experience money not being there for her.
Most of us are familiar with many of these kinds of stories. We hear them every day, talking to our girlfriends, watching TV shows, reading books. Well if we want to lead a life of abundance and fulfillment, the first thing we need to realize is that we can actually direct our thoughts to create whatever we desire.
For most of us this takes some reprogramming of our beliefs. You can start by creating a mantra that plainly says “A great man is there for me, money is there for me.” It can sound like you’re telling yourself a lie at first, because you obviously just don’t believe it. However after much repetition this “auto suggestion” really will rework your thinking so that you deeply believe it. And once you believe a thought, you can then manifest it. Or as Henry Ford so famously put it, “Whether you believe you can do it or not, you’re right.”
So, how do we start to change our beliefs and call in the life we truly desire? Here I’m sharing with you some of the teachings from my Men & Money program to get you started. Glenn and I taught this course together, bringing in his empowered masculine perspective on wealth consciousness and expressing what men like him are really looking for on a Spiritual level. Meanwhile I shared my feminine perspective on relationships and romance. If you’re ready to dive deeper and work on removing these common stumbling blocks, I definitely recommend the online course, which sets a more detailed and comprehensive path for working through the elements below.
As obvious as it becomes once you see it, it’s not necessarily easy to spot what your beliefs around men or money are. These are ideas we typically learn at a very young age that become a part of our subconscious operating system. Tot root them out, you need to dig. An easy way to start connecting the dots on these big story subjects is to reserve some uninterrupted “Me time,” sit down in a beautiful space, and write down as many as 20 beliefs you hold about men and about money—not what you want to believe, but what you really feel. You’ll start to see some astounding connections immediately. Remember awareness is the starting place of transformation.
When I was working on my money and men issues I actually had to distance myself from other women in broken relationships (the ones who weren’t interested in healing or growth) who were constantly reinforcing my old beliefs with their tales of struggle, lack of appreciation, and insecurity. Meanwhile, I fully immersed myself in the content of what I was looking to call in—reading books and attending seminars about the empowered masculine, femininity, and what it means to be a Queen. Remember that transformation is a process, so stay with it in every way you know how: mantras, meditations, working with master mind partners. This is the work you need to do to start believing the truth of who you are and what you’re meant for at a deep level. Put an end to the old story and you’ll be surprised by how quickly the new one begins.
If you’re ready for a King in your life, you have the power to attract him. And if you’re ready to start drawing in abundant financial support, you can manifest that as well. It’s time to get clear on your self-worth and self-esteem, remembering that you are no more or less deserving than anyone else, and embodying the Queen you wish to be. A Queen is supported, with plenty of resources, to be in her feminine power. She’s open to receiving. You can start being her right now. Think about the woman who would manifest the life you desire—ask yourself, how does she behave? How does she feel, think, act, walk, and talk? Getting clear on this vision should start to push your shoulders back and pull up your chin. In turn it will become clear to the universe and to all those around you that you are ready to claim your greatness.
As you become clear on who you are, what you deeply desire Will also come into focus. It’s time to get your vision down, ask for it, and be available to receive. Write down 10 characteristics of the man and the relationship you’re looking for. Now the Universe is not particularly interested in the princess list—it’s not only about calling in a 36-year old Italian man with green eyes and a house on Lake Como who doesn’t also have the capacity for deep committed love.
So from the place of a Queen, go into the depths of your truest desires. For me for example, one of the most important elements I wanted was to be claimed. I had a long history of attracting men who could take me or leave me—and from the depths of my heart I knew the empowered man I was looking for would see me and say “I know who you are, and you are mine.” When it comes to money, do the same thing. Get really in tune with your desires, artfully describe the life you want to live, and create vision boards. Feel aligned with your purpose and know that the support you seek is meant for you.
Sometimes when I share with women what I do to manifest my desires, they cannot believe it is that simple. Well that is just one more way of holding onto the idea that men and money should be something we struggle with! It was never meant to be difficult, we have just been conditioned to think so. We were told it’s impossible to attract a great man, like finding a needle in a haystack. But why would God give you a soulmate and make it next-to-impossible for you to meet them? Why when there is so much money on this planet would God make it difficult for you to bring it in, for the purpose of giving more of your gifts and talents? God has much bigger things planed for you than struggling with guys who haven’t texted you back, or being $100 short on your rent. Remember ladies, the days of just enough are over.