BEHIND THE DIVINE
When Quitting is the More Powerful Action
Most of the stories I share in the pages of Divine Living are all about the successes. The sold-out launch, the powerful marketing strategy, the cool new management technique—after all, it’s only natural to share your best ideas. Equally important though, is to highlight the reality that none of us—NONE of us—gets everything right all of the time, or manages to manifest every great idea.
This month, I had to “give up” on one idea that I had really set my heart on. It wasn’t easy for me. When it comes to what I deeply desire, I usually don’t consider quitting as an option. I do not give up on launches, programs, campaigns or achieving my goals. I’ve cancelled one program, in twelve years, so why should this be any different?
Here’s what happened. After six years of traveling the world for three to seven months at a time and working with a virtual team (mostly in my LuLu Lemons), I had the itch to set up a Divine Living headquarters in Santa Barbara and recruit A-players to come live and work in my hometown.
I thought it would be so fabulous! Ivanka Trumping it. Getting dressed up for work every day. Going out to a work lunch. Collaborating with a team right here in town—posters on the walls, goals set, regular in-person brainstorming sessions! Ahhhhhhh…it seemed like the secret ingredient to complete my happiness.
After a lengthy search, I finally found and rented the dreamiest light-filled space in the center of town, blocks from great restaurants, shopping and the beach. A year and a half in, I had invested heavily and worked and worked and worked to make this dream a reality. But it just wasn’t what I expected. Team members came and went…and despite many Pinterest boards full of ideas, I still hadn’t decorated.
So while in beautiful Positano, I was reflecting on the situation. Travel is such a great pattern interrupt. It almost forces you to think about and view your life differently. And when I started thinking about the next Santa Barbara recruiting cycle, I realized that I did not have the energy to try and revive the in-person team again. It was time to close the office.
Whhhaaaat? Ouch! Sad it didn’t work. Embarrassed I couldn’t seem to get it right. What will people say? Though I knew it was time to let go, I was beating myself up about it, lamenting my tragic defeat over views of the Amalfi Coast. (I know, right?! How often we miss out on the greatness of life while focusing on what’s not working!)
I clearly needed some perspective, so I called a girlfriend in Australia to share the news. I told her exactly how I felt about it, explaining: “I have to admit it. I failed. It’s kind of like the death of a dream.”
She wasn’t having it. Very matter-of-factly and with a dash of Aussie sass, she said to me, “Gina. Being married to your soulmate—is a dream. Traveling the world and having an international following—is a dream. Nobody gives a shit if you have an office in Santa Barbara. That is not a dream.”
Eh-hemmmmm. Well then. Who knew?!
Her words immediately lifted whatever magic spell had me dwelling in my failure, instead of delighting in the here and now, looking out the window and remembering that—this is my dream! Being in Positano with my husband, enjoying a girlfriend’s getaway, coaching my amazing clients, hosting Divine Living Academy events around the world, creating my beautiful magazine—these are my TRUE dreams!
All of a sudden my energy was totally freed up. As soon as I made the decision to go with the virtual team, I felt like the world was my oyster once again—with a global talent pool at my fingertips. From there I could dig deep and reevaluate—how much did I really desire this in-person office space to begin with? What was this all about? What was I really looking for? Was this about my own expectations for my company, or society’s?
Answering those questions for myself, I remembered why I got into this business in the first place. In letting go of the office space, I opened up to spending the rest of the summer in Europe (Hello Gina! Note to self: Now that you’re not going back to work with your team in Santa Barbara…you can book a villa in the South of France for the next two months until your Academy event in Paris in the fall). Yes please! I now decided to do more of what I love: going on new adventures, making the world my office and meeting with the most amazing old and new friends and collaborators along the way.
I still believe that there are plenty of times when giving up is not the best option. Times when we need to dig deep, push through, course correct and make it happen. Other times, there’s a knowing that you’re done and it’s time to move on. If you feel it in your gut, don’t let your ego make it out to be something more important than it really is. Because when you let it go, you make room for an even better opportunity to come your way.
|All My Love,