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BEHIND THE DIVINE

The Downside of Being a Diva

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When Criticism Comes Your Way,
Remember You’re Not In This Alone

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Before I dive into the less-than-perfect parts of Divine Living that this column was built for, I’ll set the stage with my genuine gratitude.

Above all, I’m starting 2016 feeling totally blessed to be living my life in the way that I am. I have just sold out my 3rd consecutive Academy with over 250 women worldwide. My calendar this year is something I once could have only dreamed of (including a world tour), and I could not be more excited for a year packed with btd-jan-1luxury travel, fabulous client events, and super cool collaborations. Meanwhile, I have a beautiful relationship with my husband and a home I absolutely love in Santa Barbara—there is so much to be grateful for!

However I wouldn’t want you all to think that everything I touch turns to gold, that every choice I make produces ideal results, or that I am never challenged by the responsibilities that come with running a growing company and lifestyle brand.

My first year in business, the most difficult task on my plate was simply to get clients and bring in money. To be completely transparent, since crossing that hurdle my biggest challenge has consistently been in building and managing my team—hiring the right people, keeping our working relationships running smoothly and effectively, and firing with grace.

btd-quoteDuring the last quarter of 2015, I found the weakest area in my business coming up again in a big way, and I had to confront it. I had made a number of hires—all really great people—but for a number of reasons it was clear they were not great fits, and seemingly (as it goes in business and relationships) the feeling was mutual. It was time for a clearing and to start new, and by no means was that easy for me.

While completing my time with several employees by the end of last year wasn’t a high point, it was a very valuable and humbling reminder that we teach what we want to learn. My biggest takeaway? Don’t stay in isolation and let yourself think everyone else is getting it right. Having received feedback that I should hire somebody else to manage my team, at first I felt defeated and beat myself up about it. Then, I went to my own high-end mastermind group and met with my coaches. I remembered what I’m truly good at—I’m a visionary, an inspirer, a great magazine founder and a masterful coach.

I gave team management my all, but ultimately I had to admit (again) that it is not my zone of genius—and that’s okay. Later, I found myself in a room with 100 other visionary types, many of whom have received the same feedback on their management style, and have responded by hiring CEOs and COOs to manage their companies.

Fortunately I have my husband Glenn as CEO, and we work amazingly well together. So he’s now stepped further into the role, relieving me from the tasks of hiring, firing and management. By no means do I consider this a btd-jan-2get-out-of-jail-free pass on the lessons I need to learn about running and growing a team, however it is important for all of us entrepreneurs to play to our strengths, focus on what we do best, and not to beat ourselves up on the areas that are our blindspots.

Beyond having to make these tough decisions, the downside of being the diva at the head of the company is receiving the criticism and judgment that comes with them—especially from people who have yet to face the
responsibilities of running multiple 7-figure businesses.

Rather than let my missteps and what other people may think of them get me down, I choose to stay strong in all that I have accomplished and everything I am so proud of, and focus on where I’m going next. And that’s what I really want to leave you with now, with the knowledge that you don’t have to be perfect in every area—nobody is! Allow your less successful experiences to teach you more about yourself, to refine your greatness, and to help you identify the support you need to be more fully in your power.

Lastly, I invite you not to judge other women leaders until you’ve walked in their shoes. Women like us, we’re all in this together, and we all ultimately want the same things: to build even better and more impactful companies than those that have come before us. Who has time to point fingers? Onward, ladies!

  All My Love,
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