you’re reading this right now, chances are we have a lot in common. Like me, perhaps you’ve always had big dreams for your life. You’ve always seen yourself earning great money, traveling the world, pursuing your passions and above all having a major impact and contribution. And perhaps like I once did, you figure you’ll have this life, one day. And you don’t realize what’s actually stopping you from having it now.
Why do we choose to play this wishing and hoping and praying game for so long? In a diversity of ways, many of us are trained by our upbringing to limit our desires. We’re encouraged to be normal, to not ask for too much. To just be happy for other people who are living big lives and to keep our dreams to ourselves. It’s okay though, because we figure we’re just waiting for the right moment—like when we have enough money in the bank, more free time, or have dropped a couple of dress sizes.
It doesn’t matter what it is you think you’re waiting for, I can assure you: there is no “right” moment. The only moment that actually matters is the one where you choose to go for it. To make the decision and commit to overcoming your fears. It could happen any time. It could happen right now. Decide to own your truth. Accept that you have no interest in being mediocre. Otherwise you’ll have one foot on the gas and one foot on the break, wondering why other people are so effortlessly stepping into the life you see for yourself.
Going beyond your own personal status quo takes courage. You have to look at things within you that you’ve become comfortable ignoring. In that process, you discover what’s actually true for you and let go of the false beliefs that have been subconsciously running your life for so long. Then, you get to to live by a new set of beliefs, and finally you’re not wondering if you have what it takes or whether you really want it anymore. Once you get into that zone, you know success is meant for you and that the possibilities are endless.
So without further ado, today I’m sharing my five step formula to breaking through whatever’s blocking you from playing big. This is exactly the process I’ve used myself and with clients, and you can absolutely start right now.
The starting place for transforming anything in your life is to be curious about it. Oftentimes when we are afraid of something our natural instinct is to avoid it, resist it and run away from it. And it’s impossible to transform something we aren’t intimate with, let alone blind to. So investigate your fears. What are you afraid of? Write it down. It could be, “I’m afraid of not being able to pay my bills. I’m afraid that no one will sign up for my program. I’m afraid that if they do sign up, I’m going to look like a fool because I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m afraid that I’m not interesting.” Whatever the fear is, acknowledge it. There’s so much power in awareness and taking stock of what’s going on inside you can be liberating.
Now that they’re on paper, some of your fears may seem to go against what you rationally know to be true. As a grown adult woman who’s done personal development work, you might think, “I know I’m really good at what I do. I deserve to make great money and charge rates that are of my value.” The problem is, inside you there might be a little girl who’s saying: “But wait! Is it okay to make more money than my parents? What are other people going to say? Do I really have the ability to facilitate that level of transformation?” This little girl has likely had a number of experiences that taught her to be afraid of making mistakes, depend on other people’s opinions, and strive to blend in and stay hidden. And as long as this little girl is running the show unchecked, your adult capacity to make things happen is undermined.
We’re all conditioned by not only our own past experiences, but often those of our parents. And often we can’t see the root causes of our parents’ fears, as they were passed down to us like natural law. It could be that your father was constantly talking about his money being taken away, so now you think, “Well, if I make any money, I’m just going to lose it anyway, so what’s the point?” Realizing that your fears are not even your own often inspires instant transformation. You can give those beliefs back to who they belong to and feel a sense of release. You don’t have to make your parents wrong for it though. I’m sure they were trying their best and that they probably did better than their own parents. Allow them to have their beliefs, their values, their way of staying safe in the world. When you start to live according to your own belief system, a lot of things change.
Once you become aware of what’s been running the show in your life and decide to release it, you get to take full responsibility for creating a different outcome. It might not feel great at first, because all of a sudden there is no one to blame for your circumstances or your fear. Focus instead on how freeing it is to live without limits, knowing your potential to create anything you dream up. From this point on there’s nothing actually standing in the way of what you desire—whether it’s that marvelous home you want to move into, those sold out live events you see yourself hosting, or those luxurious one-on-one client intensives you’d love to offer—but to get there you still have to move. Welcome to your power, step on in.
The missing piece for so many women? They don’t have clarity on their own desires. Seriously—the statistics say that only one in 100 people know what they want! And it makes sense considering no seventh grader ever takes a class on honing their intuition and discovering what they desire (which is why we cover this in Module 1 of the Divine Living Academy). Instead, you’ve probably spent most of your life taking care of everyone else and asking how you can make other people happy, without actually wondering what would make you happy. When you’re clear on your desires, you also start to see how possible they are. Even if you don’t know exactly how to manifest them yet, every day you can move confidently in the right direction.