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Here at  Divine Living, we talk a lot about femininity—whether it’s creating wealth based on feminine principles, living in a way that truly reflects your feminine essence, or growing your Spiritual connection and creativity.

Deepening my femininity has been essential to my success and happiness. However, there is another side to being a feminine woman entrepreneur. To be bosses, leaders, and money makers, we also need to have our masculine side intact.

art-1One of the reasons I love the “Queen” archetype is because it represents a masterful blend of masculine and feminine energies. We all have both inside of us. While many women in the world are afraid to be feminine at work for fear of looking weak, what I see a lot in the woman entrepreneur community today is that so many ladies are afraid of seeming too masculine.

It’s almost become a badge of shame for a woman business owner to post that she “got a lot of work done” that day, or was “super productive and effective” that week. It seems as if a lot of the feminine energy circles have almost made it taboo to actually take action and work. Trust me ladies, the new women millionaires aren’t at the spa or walking the beach 24/7. And they aren’t working 24/7 either! Not when they know how to use both their feminine and masculine energy.

One thing I know for sure is that I love the total human experience. I know that I have both energies within me, and I feel empowered in both being (feminine energy) and doing (masculine energy). I believe we can be happiest when, rather than being on automatic default with either energy, we consciously choose which one to be in. It’s all part of creating a life and business of our own design.

It’s not so much a balance as a dance that is required of us in knowing when to be intuitive, creative, spiritual, and artistic (feminine), or decisive, focused, active, linear and direct (masculine). Let this be my unapologetic manifesto giving all of us full permission to use our best masculine energies at the moments that are in service to us. Here are my top 5 ways you can activate the masculine to empower your feminine vision:

 

 

1

Give Yourself
Permission to Go First

Men often ask me, why don’t you allow men into your programs? And the reason isn’t because I don’t love men or I only want to work with women. It’s because when I have had men in my programs, the women often default to letting those men take the lead. I remember one course with 200 people, 3 of whom were men, and every time I opened the floor for Q&A the men would always be the first to speak! The women wouldn’t even raise their hands until the men were done. Now it’s not that women need to be aggressive and elbow their way in, however we need to remember to take initiative—with clients, with our team, and in the world. Don’t sit back and wait for permission, an invitation, or everyone else to speak before you make a move. What you have to say deserves to be voiced, so be confident in your power to go first and get things moving.

 

2Build a Platform 
for Your Creativity

It’s important to understand the primary function of the masculine: to provide and protect. When a woman has her masculinity intact within her and within her business, it’s because they are there to be in service to the feminine. So if I go set up an internet marketing funnel, or a launch, or certain organizational systems in my company, all of these are essential to provide for me and protect me—providing me financial abundance, and protecting me from overwork or burnout. What you build is there to allow you to be the feminine, visionary and creative entrepreneur that you are and effectively bring that out in the world. You will have to engage your linear thinking and be in action mode to build masculine structures, however like a Queen in her castle, ultimately you will be much better supported in your feminine power.

 

3Be Confident in
Speaking Your Truth

Here is the major difference between the way men and women communicate. When men speak to each-other, they rarely begin a statement by automatically dismissing themselves. They don’t typically say, “I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind, I don’t mean to impose.” Women have been so conditioned to be nice and respectful, to let others take the lead, and to never hurt anyone’s feelings. While as compassionate people we should always take people’s feelings into account whether we’re men or women, the way many women are used to living up to this expectation is to avoid directly expressing themselves. We hold ourselves back this way, thinking we’re protecting others—but we are only creating a more challenging situation for everyone. Using direct and clear communication actually makes people feel safer—they know where they stand with you. Without playing all of the games that come with assuming and implying, you get a lot more done much more efficiently.

 

4Decide so the
Universe can
Support You

One of the hardest things to do in life is to live in the question. We are so driven by the masculine in our culture, that most of us are obsessed with knowing the answer and the outcome: Who are we going to marry? Where are we going to live? Will we be successful? To live in the unknown is to inhabit a feminine state, and it can be the most difficult space to live in for both men and women.

But there is another side to this space where the situation does not require you be brave, sit still, and trust in the Universe, but needs you to make a decision. Do I desire to go on the trip or not? Do I desire to enroll in the program? Does it feel good to buy those Jimmy Choos? Is this relationship no longer serving me? (When you do know the answer!) Most of these questions are not living genuinely in the question, they are sitting on the fence. I find that once I make a decision, one way or another in life, everything starts to flow around me and fall into place.

 

5Stop Juggling and
Start Completing

A lot of women pride themselves on being great at multitasking. Well researchers have found that multitasking is more damaging to your brain function, IQ and focus than smoking pot. In any case, I find that it simply makes people busier, but not much more effective or productive. Being in your feminine is being non-linear, so it’s natural for us to go up and down, back and forth, all around in our lives. And there is a time and a place where that’s great—like in a brainstorming session.

However the best way I know to get tasks finished is to activate my masculinity and hone in my focus. I get very direct and I will not talk or think about anything else, I will not have any other windows open, and I will shut down everything else until my task is complete to its fullest degree. Then I will move onto the next thing, in the same way. To do my best work most effectively is to make sure there are no other energy leaks and my full attention is being given.

communicating

Even if you have bad news to deliver, it is possible to communicate what you think in a way that is truthful, constructive, and considerate. I’ll give you an example. At one point in my career I was struggling with a particular team member, and I was talking to a male friend of mine about the issue. I told him how I was dissatisfied and uncomfortable with her performance but didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He said I should start by asking her: “How is it going for you at this job?” and I told him I was pretty sure she would say it was going great. What he suggested I say next made my jaw drop: “Well it’s not going great for me.” I was shocked! It never would have occurred to me to say that. There was such a clarity and truthfulness to the statement that expressed exactly how I felt from a place of my authentic experience. It wasn’t an attack or criticism, but a place to begin to work toward solutions.

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