Saying No to What No Longer Serves Me


How I’m Showing The Universe That
I’m Ready For A New Path

I started the year like any, asking for Divine guidance. I wondered, “What should this year be about for me?” I was surprised to hear back that apparently, 2017 is the time to “lower my tolerance.” Normally, my inner work revolves around something that I consider more of a positive, like raising my vibration, being a go-getter, or elevating my standards. I’ve since realized that sometimes growth isn’t about adding anything, it’s about eliminating.

It’s humbling and even a bit embarrassing to realize that there are areas of my life where I have too high of a tolerance for low-level thinking, playing small, other people’s excuses or even my own. I know you’re probably used to seeing the fierce side of me, but trust that like most of us, parts of me are broken, undeveloped and completely unconscious.

Those lingering fears manifest in me putting up with or accepting less than what I truly desire. I may not have low self-esteem across the board, and yet my self-worth could be and needs to be much stronger if I am to accept and receive what is meant for me. And I’m realizing that to get to my next level, I have to stop tolerating what doesn’t work for me and stand for only what I know I deserve and desire.

It always amazes me that when I set an intention to work on something, the Universe provides me with every opportunity to do so (usually within about 24 hours), far beyond what I had in mind. I thought this exercise of lowering my tolerance would have mainly to do with my business, but I’m being shown that it actually extends across every aspect of my life. #lord

Suddenly I noticed places in my personal life where I was avoiding speaking up for what I desire, to the point of tolerating low level behavior from others. My conditioned response was to stay silent or sugar-coat and I knew that eliminating or transforming those aspects of my relationships required me to be fierce on behalf of my true self.

Confrontation is often difficult for me, as I know it is for most people, so standing by my intention was by no means comfortable, but of course, it was liberating. It confirmed for me one of Jesus’ great teachings from the Gnostic Gospels of Thomas: “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

So often we hide what we truly feel, desire and believe, because we think it’s an imposition to others or it’s not aligned with what they need or expect of us. The problem is that our idea of what other people think is not our business, and the only thing they actually need from us is
our authenticity. A good relationship is after all, an honest one.

I’m also taking a hard look at what I need to stop tolerating in my business. For one, I know that I’ve made myself too available to self-fund this magazine. I’ve done it because it’s really important to me, I’m passionate about it, I enjoy it so much and I love the entire team. But it’s not until I lower my tolerance and become unavailable to self-fund that the right support and partnerships will show up.

There are also areas of my coaching business that I know I have outgrown. In the beginning, I was happy to do whatever I needed to get it off the ground, which for a handful of years meant me literally doing everything. I’ve had a team for a while now, but there’s still a LOT more for me to delegate.

For example, sales calls. During the past couple of launches, I’ve made myself available here and there to talk to a select few people. Though I actually enjoy these calls (which is partly why I’ve done them as much) I know that there is no possible way I can be who I say I am and do what I want to do in 2017 if I continue to tolerate them as part of my time allocation. The same goes with marketing. It’s time to turn over more of the logistics!

My truth is that I love coaching, speaking, inspiring and creating, so if I want my life to revolve around that zone of genius, I have to cut out what isn’t aligned with it—even if I kind of enjoy the tasks.

When you tolerate less than you desire, you send a message to the Universe that you’re available for that and that’s exactly what you get. Universal laws hold up across everything—even what you might consider superficial.

I was quickly given the opportunity to address my tolerance for air travel. When Glenn and I needed to re-work our return trips, the agent had us split on a flight. I was in first, Glenn in business. Momentarily everyone assumed that of course, I would just move back to business class so we could sit together and save money because who am I, Mariah Carey?

I heard this question in my head and I responded, swiftly, with lower tolerance. Actually, I don’t need to “diva-shame” myself for recognizing that first class would be a much more comfortable and high-vibe experience for our nine and a half hour flight to Dubai, followed by Glenn’s 16 hour itinerary home and my lengthy journey with stops in London and New York.

Of course, I also wasn’t going to leave Glenn behind. But, instead of going along with what any reasonable person would do, I asked, “How much would it cost to move Glenn to first class?” And
you know what, it was perfectly doable and in the end, everyone was happy. The scenario might seem silly, but it confirmed for me that it was time to grow. When you’re given the opportunity to live your best life in a way that truly, deeply delights you, why keep saying no to yourself?

I recognize that where I’m at on my journey and what’s important to me is not the same for everyone, but I do think we all have the ability to look at where we can lower our tolerance. Are you spending time doing something that isn’t making you happy or particularly serving your business? Maybe you still need to be taking sales calls, but do you need to be designing your own PDFs, managing your schedule, or sifting through emails?

Or perhaps you need support on the home front. Is it really important that you’re the one to clean your house and run your errands? And in what ways are you tolerating less than you deserve in your relationships? Are you spending time on people who make you feel insecure and afraid rather than ones who uplift you? And do not forget to take a look at your self-care, including food, transportation and housing. Maybe it’s time to lower your tolerance for that studio apartment.

Whatever it is, let this be the year you ask for more for yourself. Stop spending your time, money and energy on whatever doesn’t make you happy or isn’t effective. Insist to the Universe that you’re ready for a new path to open up. Set the intention and seize every opportunity to act on it. Because “thoughts grow stronger as they are shared,” I’d love to see your comments below sharing the number one area of your life where you’re ready to lower your tolerance.

  All My Love,



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